Glad Acceptance of My Failure

Before starting university, I was confident that with Bapa by my side, I would be able to face any challenge or peer pressure of the American youth culture. I felt so positive that I believed that I could keep my connection strong while I studied hard, get straight A’s, get admission to a top medical school and would eventually become a doctor! Sadly I was wrong. The four years of university were anything but breezy. My experiences that followed could be compared to a scary roller coaster ride. My life spun out of control as my faith, strength and devotion were put to the test. I saw myself developing a split personality, due to my lack of faith. I became someone else in university around my so-called friends and drove my parents and worse, my Guru away. I thought that if I let go of HIS grip on me, maybe HE would let go of me and thus my inner struggle would end. I was so completely blinded by this false happiness, that I was ignorant of the real truth. That it was the DIVINE LORD who was my super-tight seatbelt, holding onto me the entire time while I was trying to break loose. HE never let me go. HE told me to just observe and accept the changes and that my emotional pendulum would eventually stop swinging so aggressively, and that I should just enjoy every moment. I realised that the same sun which melts butter also hardens clay!

BAPA showed me how to celebrate life’s worst moments and never cling onto them. I had taken the MCAT exam, a prerequisite for medical school entrance, and was anxiously awaiting my score. I was so sure I had done well, after studying so diligently, with extreme focus. I scored a 28Q. Now, I am not one to take failure very well, and whilst 28 wasn’t a terrible score, it was not 30 or above, which was what one needed to gain admission into an esteemed medical school. Three months of continuous studying were completely in vain. Naturally, I couldn’t stop crying. But BAPA put sense into me. HE made me listen to my failure as it gave me important messages regarding me. With HIS grace I picked them up and simply moved ahead. HE said, “So what? We always intuitively celebrate our successes. You need to learn to gladly accept failure as well! It’s not the end of the world, you can take it again, and you will work your hardest on it and do whatever it takes to succeed.” Laughingly HE added, “Never make the same mistake twice. There are so many new ones. Try a different one each day.” This is what I love so much about Bapa. With HIM, spirituality and life are not two separate things. Life IS spirituality. Every action should be a product of spirituality and HE makes you understand that negative reactions are completely unnecessary. With this wonderful message, I accepted my failure which benefitted me in cutting down my ego, making me more humble and compassionate towards others. I now became more focused towards my goal.

The following summer, when I was studying to retake the MCAT, BAPA called me from Africa and told me to give my 100% to studying and pray to Param Krupalu Dev for strength. After that phone call, every day I began my studying with a prayer to Param Krupalu Dev. With HIS grace alone, I gained a blessed 31 in that exam, and ultimately got admission into the University of Arizona, College of Medicine! Now, I love both my successes and my failures equally because BAPA, YOU taught me to celebrate and then overcome my imperfections! BAPA, thank YOU for making me so passionate in my conviction and my goals. I am ready to face any boulder that may come my way. With Your GRACE, I resolve to treat my studies as a Divine Mission, that will ultimately lead to a life full of Your seva. Thank YOU BAPA for making me realize that life is just like the sea, moving without end. What does stay with me are just memories of few people who have touched me as waves out of which YOU are the most important, as YOUR wave has pulled me back to the shore.